Jose Mourinho To Arsenal Rumors Should Make Me Mad, Right!?

As the media grabs hold of this story, it’s hard not to see something pop up across any of the social media platforms that links Jose Mourinho with a shock move to Arsenal. Every time I see one of those headlines, I want to violently smash my phone on the ground. The interesting part is that a lot of the headlines clearly outline how much of a shock move it would be, and to be honest, seeing that word in there gives me a bit more comfort. You may ask why it gives me comfort? Seeing as it would be a shock move, that makes it more unlikely to happen, and rumor has it that Mourinho has a pre-agreement with Manchester United.

I’m sure I speak for many Arsenal fans when I say that I would absolutely hate to see Jose Mourinho take over Arsene Wenger’s position.There are sufficient¬†reasons for that, and don’t you worry, I’ll get into those shortly, but reason number one, Arsene Wenger HATES this guy, and the word hate might not even do it justice!

Since money bag$ Abramovich arrived in England and he brought over Jose Mourinho from Porto, him and Arsene Wenger have had a relationship very much like two teenage boys who were going after the same girl. That girl was the Premier League title, and dammit, Mourinho clearly came out on top, but then again, he was also the teenager that had parents who would buy him the best of everything. A fancy car and fancy clothes, while Arsene Wenger had the frugal parents. No Arsene, you can’t buy those new shoes, the ones you have now are perfectly fine. Although they have a few holes in them, they will last you a few more months.¬†Speaking of shoes, have you seen the shows he wears to every match? I think he bought those things when he turned 18-years old!

How the hell could Wenger compete?!

While Abramovich continued to buy Mourinho the best of everything, Wenger did what he could with what he had, while also trying to save any money he could find.

Making matters worst, Mourinho was that teenager who would steal your chick, and then rub it in your face. Parading her around school, bragging about how much better he was at everything, and telling you about how he closed the deal on prom night.

The hatred just continued to grow, and when Mourinho was sacked by money bag$, that must have been a relief for Wenger, and me as well! That douchebag is finally gone, now lets buy some new shoes and close the deal with that chick that has eluded us for years. Unfortunately, she’s still hiding, and although Arsene Wenger seems determined to find her, Stan Kroenke appears to not have any interest in dusting off the checkbook. He’s a business type of guy, not a footy kind of guy.

When Mourinho came back to the EPL, Wenger certainly had nightmares, and it all boiled over on a sunny afternoon at Stamford Bridge.

Realistically, this wouldn’t happen because we all know Arsene Wenger is going to pick his successor, and if Le Prof was asked to make a list of 100 possible options, Mourinho wouldn’t be on that list. Their hatred for each other is more than obvious, and it has become worst over time. If that’s not a good enough reason for this not to happen, the Portuguese manager has a very unique personality, which just wouldn’t fit at Arsenal FC.

He has a sh*t attitude, and he thinks he’s god’s gift to the football world. Great, you’ve been handed the tools to win titles everywhere you’ve gone, but would you be able to close the deal had you not had the latest and greatest?!

At the end of the day, I pray to the highest power that this doesn’t happen because I don’t know if I could support Arsenal with douche nuts in charge. My blood pressure is already through the roof when watching Arsenal, if Mourinho signed for the club, I might have to stop watching football because it would not be good for my health.

Moral of the story, I hate Mourinho, Arsene Wenger hates Mourinho, and you too should hate Mourinho! #KeepMourinhoOutOfArsenal

PS – Aston Villa might be looking for a new manager once they join the Championship next season! Any interest Mou?!