Le Prof’s Match Report: Olivier Giroud’s Header Deflated Leicester And The Haters

If the Premier League officials were hopeful of an entertaining match to open things up on a Friday evening, they sure as hell got just that, and more. For Arsenal supporters, it was eventful and stressful, but like they say, those who laugh last, laugh better. As for the neutrals, if that’s what you want to call them, it was just another opportunity for them to eat their words, or at least some of them.

When the alarm sounded on Friday, first thought: Arsenal plays today. The Premier League is back!!

Now, before we get into the match, you all still remember that group text I’ve mentioned before, right? Well, if you don’t, check out the FA Cup Preview, or We Want The Arsenal. Group of proper lads.

Speaking too early has been a pattern since before the FA Cup Final, carried over to the Community Shield, and boy oh boy did they set themselves up on Friday.

There was chatter early on in the day, but things got started again about 30 minutes prior to kickoff.

Let’s Go Foxes 🦊.
What did the fox say?

That was followed up by: 4th Place, from the one you’d imagine would have learned his lesson by now, but it gets better.

I was confident that Arsenal wouldn’t drop points prior to kickoff.

As soon as Lacazette guided a well placed header past Schmeichel, they weren’t happy. But, moments later, all the fun began.

First off, I’m not sure how anyone can tell me that 100% of that first goal is not Petr Cech’s fault. That cross is overhit, he has no business at all trying to chase that down. Have a look at where Maguire headed that ball from. At the corner of the six yard box where he has no other option but to try and knock it back across. That’s really his ONLY realistic option. Unless he pulls a fuc*en fox out of a hat and manages to magically pull that ball down without falling out of bounds.

Now, let’s take a look at where Cech was originally standing when the cross was first played in.

Yes, he was standing in nearly the same spot that Okazaki scored from. He had no business trying to get to that ball, and had he just stood his ground, that header back across is right in his hands.

So don’t try to tell me two players were left unmarked on the back post. That cross had no danger, until Cech decided he was going to go on a fuc*en joy ride, only to realize he fuc*ed up halfway there. By that point, it was too late.

Despite the quick response, Arsenal still looked comfortable. Had majority of the possession, and were getting chances, but as always, another stupid mistake.

Xhaka played a poor pass out wide to Bellerin who was nowhere near it, gifting Albrighton tons of space and time to pick out Vardy. From jubilation and excitement, to traditional frustration. All I could think of was typical Arsenal.

I was already annoyed, then I have to listen to a Spu*s fan at work attempt to talk sh*t.

Excuse me, have you ever seen your club lift a fuc*en piece of silverware? Do you even know when they last won a piece of silverware? Oh that’s right, shut up!

Then I had to hear it from my boss, who is a United supporter. 🤦🏻‍♂️

There are certain things we must accept in life, and listening to your boss talk sh*t is one of them. Mainly because this guy hired me, and could very well fire me. So, I’m not going to get into a war of words, and if I do, I’ll tread lightly.

Just before the break, I had to go into a meeting, and when I came back, the second half was just about to begin, so I missed Welbeck’s equalizer, and Sead the Tank’s assist. Certainly a sigh of relieve, but that quickly changed.

Zonal marking at its best, and Vardy, untouched, guided a ball past Cech, making it 2-3. Again, why does this continue to happen?! Repeatedly shooting ourselves in the foot.

Here is where the group chat got interesting.

With time ticking away, Wenger had to take a risk, and he did just that. Much to my surprise, I figured he would have waited a bit longer, but a double change in the 67th minute dictated the outcome of the match.

Living on the edge every time Leicester broke forward, Sead the Tank was there to sort things out, as did Monreal on a few occasions.

Going forward, everything was free-flowing. Loads of bodies getting into the box, and eventually, it all paid off.

I was already preparing myself mentally for the fact that before kickoff I said Arsenal wouldn’t drop points. But, the footy gods were on my side.

A perfectly weighted cross from Xhaka found Rambo all alone in the box, first touch was great, and the side footed shot left Schmeichel with very little to do. It was now 3-3, 83rd minute. I was silently confident the comeback was on, meanwhile, the haters were clenching their arseholes hoping they weren’t gonna eat their words, again!

At this point, I was already packed up and ready to leave work, but no chance I was leaving without hearing that final whistle. iPad was on my desk, and the silent Spu*s fan to my left appeared to have lost his voice as well. I hope the chap is ok!

Fast forward two minutes, corner from the right side, Xhaka’s beautiful florescent boot to take it, and he totally redeems himself from the mistake he made on Leicester’s second goal.

Giroud shrugs off Morgan and Maguire, and then the bearded beauty guided the ball into the top corner with his beautiful head of hair. It was absolute pandemonium at the Emirates. Speaking of chaos, when that ball went in, I jumped up, tossed a pen into the corner behind me, all while startling a co-worker who was standing about 20 feet away. She thought I fell out of my chair, but I assured her everything was ok. Sorry, Arsenal scored!

(Video Credit: Lewis White)

The comeback was complete, now, we just had to hold on.

Perfect time for a group chat update.

The final five minutes plus stoppage time seemed like an eternity. I wasn’t nervous that Arsenal would concede, I just wanted the opportunity to have my say in the group chat after remaining quiet for the entire match.

Tick, tick, tick, and there was the final whistle! Mike Fuc*en Dean had managed to take part in an Arsenal match, and not make an absolutely shocking call against us.

Considering Arsenal have won just one of their previous five opening day matches, with all of them being at home, it sure as hell wasn’t looking promising late in the second half. But fear not, Rambo and Giroud to the rescue. And just like that, what looked to be a terrible Friday evening, quickly turned into a great one.

But, the chatter wasn’t over yet.

You know when you talk so much sh*t to someone, and then come to the realization that you now need to try and calm the incoming storm? Well, that’s exactly what happened. It went from celebrating like it was the world cup, to fox GIFs, to I fuc*en love it, to then this. Thanks for the blog material lads! #GetFuc&ed

And that was all she wrote. They wanted nothing else to do with me, or anything else I had to say. Which to be honest, had I been in their position, I’d be embarrassed as well. Spend 80 or so minutes talking sh*t and celebrating, only to end up in utter disappointment. So for that, I say thank you for providing me with the last laugh. And while you’re at it, I ask that you continue to bring Arsenal good fortune. It began with We Want Arsenal in the semi-final of the FA Cup, and since then, we’ve defeated those blue tw*ts twice, and made them eat their words on Friday.

Lastly, if all of the above wasn’t enough, those same blue tw*ts lost just moments ago, at home, against Burnley, and had two players sent off! What an opening weekend it has been. I hope their weekend hasn’t been completely ruined. 🙂